Grades....finals may or may not have destroyed my brain

I just finished editing my paper. I'm pretty much done with school work for the semester. I just calculated my GPA and it's nowhere near what I want it to be. I'm hoping it'll be at least a 3.0...yeah I know. I'm really disappointed in myself. If I get a 3.0 it's pull my cumalitve down to a 3.2. OY! I promise myself every semester that I'll buckle down and work my hardest. Honestly I have this semester. I tried irrevocably hard and all I pulled was B's? I know I should be ok with it, but I'm not. I have always done second best, mostly because I try second hardest. I don't want to be the kid who studies the most, but having the highest grade gives you a sense of accomplishment that NOTHING can replace. I am just not happy with myself. I know I should just be happy that I tried my best and that it honestly was my best. I think that'll come in a few days, but today is not that day. Oy the day grades released will most likely involve a lot of tears, chocolate and movies for me. I just look back on my senior year of high school, STRAIGHT A's the entire year.....now where am I? 5 B's and a C.....yeah....not so happy. But this coming winter....I SWEAR! I will get straight A's. I don't care what it takes! I'm going to bring that GPA up! If I die! I don't care...I WANT STRAIGHT A's AGIAN!. If I take 14 credits and get straight A's it'll bring my cumalitve up to a 3.4. Then the following summer as long as I get above a 3.5 I'll be happy. I don't care what it takes, I'm going to do this. I'm going to get up to a 3.7 by my senior year. I want half tuition paid! I will do it! I'm not good at sticking with longterm goals, but this....this is a challenge. This is the academic world mocking me and I do not deal well with mocking. They will feel my wrath... THEY WILL FEEL IT!