If you die I'll be alone

I should really be asleep right now, but I can't go to bed with this in my head. I took some nyquil at 8 so please keep in mind I am extremely drugged. I was watching the new episode of House and Wilson is going to under go surgery and asks House to be there. House says no because "If you die I'll be alone". I don't think words have hit me more poignantly than those ones. I started to think who the world would feel empty if they were no longer around. I thought of my family, those connected to me by blood and those I have forged into my own little family. In the end I came down to a rather short list.

My Mom

My Dad

My Sisters

My Brother

Melissa

and Matt.

Those are the 7 people I wouldn't know how to move on without. I know all of them would be fine and waiting for me on the other side, but I can't gaurentee I would wait very long to join them. I know this is rather morbid, but it kind of makes me feel safe. It makes me feel like I've really made connections in my life. I am not one of those people who have pushed people away so they can survive on their own. I had a friend die when we were young, in the prime of our lives, and I'm the first to admit I wasn't very close to him. But the loss of him forged me and a lot of my other friends into different people than we normally would be. I know I wouldn't be who I am if he had lived. I am thankful for every day I am alive and for every day these people are alive next to me. I honestly don't know what I would do without these people in my life.
So to all of those you who read this
If you die I'll be alone.

OK Go Secret Show 11/17

As the majority of you probably know I won tickets to see OK Go at a secret show last night. It was at the Grammy Museum which is like IMPOSSIBLE to find if you don't know EXACTLY what you are looking for. Kayla convinced her parents to let her go so her and I cruised down and drove past the museum prolly like 10 times before we figured out that it was there. I also had to pee really bad so we found a creep gas station that had a bathroom that took only quarters and there was a girl in there with no shoes on. Kayla worried about her hygienic safety. We finally found the museum and parked in this parking structure. We then got in line. We were prolly like 15 people from the front of the line and were just talking between the two of us for like 45-60 minutes. There was us, then a girl named Alyssa and then 3 girls in matching custom pink OK Go shirts. 1. They were carrying purses. 2. They were wearing flip flops/ shoes with band member names written on them and 3. They screamed when Dan walked by. Not just screamed but a high pitched siren call issued forth from their empty heads. We really didn't like them by the time we finally headed into the building. They were checking IDs to make sure people were either on the list, or someone's plus one and so we got stopped at the door with Alyssa and the guard was like "I smell pot. Have you been smoking?" Kayla was like I'm only 17 no. I said I'm Mormon and Alyssa was like Ummm no. But he told the chick checking IDs to keep an eye on us, but we did get in. Then we waited in line some more! We waited in this lobby place and discussed weather or not Brad Paisley was gay and such. Finally about 30 minutes later they took the first 25 people upstairs. We were in that group. So theeeeeen we waited up against this big wall in the middle of the museum for like an hour. We all started out standing, but by the end it was just me and a few other people standing. By that time we'd befriended the couple in front of Alyssa who joined in with us mocking the triplets. Whilst in this line we could see this box the triplets were holding that said WTF? (the new single) on the lid. Inside there was a weird message and little claymation figures of the band. Yeah weird. When everyone around me sat down and I was standing I started teaching them my concert doctrine. "Thou Shalt Not Make Claymation figures of bands." "Thou shalt not bring thine purse or wear thine sandals or thou shalt be robbed and have thine feet trodden upon." "Thou shalt not be a creeper and write thee names of band members on thine shoes" ETC ETC. We also discussed having a sleep over in the museum because it felt like we were going to be there for AGES. Finally though we headed in. They told us the pink tape represented where camera men would be sitting because it was a filming for the Carson Daily show. So we went in and I sat down behind a camera man without realizing it. So we decided to move. Of course it took me like 10 minutes to realize I was once AGAIN sitting behind a camera man as well as the triplets being directly diagonal from us. It was going to be useless to move because we were second row and lazy. So here is a picture of the drumset from our seats.

Well we were all hyper and excited and you can see the set list there in the middle under the light and it was really long so we were even more pumped. Some people had been like oh this is gonna suck they're just going to do 2 songs and then send us home. BLAAHHHH They ended up doing 17 songs! Thats a whole set plus more! Well they played like 3 new songs, a lot of old songs, they did the hand bells version of "What to do" which was awesome! Plus Andy played some chimes in the encore which was pretty sweet. There were only like 40-50 people in the room anyways. Kayla kept making faces at the drummer Dan and he kept laughing. I was rocking out too much to have any moments with the band. Damian did talk to the guy next to me about Dinner Theater. At one part Damian came out into the middle of the crowd and playing an acoustic song which was really good. There was a sing along part on another song and he was like none of you are drunk enough or young enough to not care that there are other people here, but lets pretend! He also said he lives there, in that room and that with a push of a button all those chairs fold down into one really big comfy red bed, but he wouldn't show us where that was because there would be way too many people in his bed. I leaned over to one of the girls we were talking to before and said sleep over and she laughed. He also discussed how the only keeping him from launching into space from pure sexiness is the fact that he blows snot rockets in the middle of songs sometimes. He had already did that. We had a short question and answer and more music and awesomeness. Our seats turned out to be pretty nice because everyone stood up and the camera man was getting low angles and crowd shots so we'll probably be in it a lot and the triplets were easy to block out. After the show we went down stairs and waited in line to go to the bathroom. Ok it was just me who had to go, but whatever. After what seemed like AGES we finally got outside and were trying to decide wheter or not we wanted to try and stick around for the band. There were just 2 girls outside so we went over to talk to them and they said they had seen Damian's car down the street so they were going to wait for awhile, so we decided we might as well. Like 5 minutes later the triplets came out and started mad dogging us. and then 10 minutes of mad dogging passed and Andy and Tim came out. The triplets ripped into them like wild savages so we waited patiently for all of that......ickiness....to calm down, but Damian came out before they were finished with the other two so we talked to Damian for a bit and took pictures with him. We told him the triplets were crazy and he said they'd met them before. Kayla whispered for him to run as a mom took a picture of the 3 of us.
When the triplets spit out Andy we discussed how we had the same sweatshirt but mines purple and how he played the chime and he only missed a few notes, but everybody does. And he explained to us how there were knots in the middle of the notes on their chimes which muted them sometimes. Then we took pictures. Andy went over to look at the calymation figures with Damian and looked totally creeped out
Then we met Tim who is a lot shorter than I thought previously. We discussed how he'd seen new moon the night before and wehter or not he liked it. He enjoyed it, but thought the books were better. We also discussed how much we like his tweets and Kayla fan girled and told him the whole reason she had a twitter was to read his tweets. We took pictures with him and discussed how much we liked his hat and he asked for high fives from us

Then Dan waved and rushed by with his wife. Stupid wives. Anyway there really wasn't a point for us to stick around it was just the triplets freaking out over the boys so we were walking back to the parking structure. We noticed the band behind us but were coooool. Then when we were on the escalator Damian was like oh fancy meeting you guys here! And we chatted and he asked us what we were doing on Saturday night. We said nothing and so he's like here give me your names and I'll put you on the guest list. And none of us had a pen. So Kayla suggested we put them in her phone and he was like....but then you'll have them....and she was ashamed, but then he got out his phone and asked us for our names and when he could spell Kayla's name right she was really excited because apparently no one can spell her last name. And he was like and you're bringing a date. And then I told him my name and he was like fjqkedsrt right? and I told him he forgot the 7. and he was like ok it's at USC and if you have any problems send an email to this guy and we're all set, see you guys on Saturday!

YEAH! That freaking happened. That kind of stuff just never happens to me. Like I never win anything in my life and I won tickets. And then I j-chilled with the band and the invited us to their next show for free. HOW AWESOME? I really want to go, but Kayla has a competition so we're trying to figure out a way to still go, but I don't want to go alone. We'll figure it out. Well that's my story. AWESOME! A night I will remember forever! I am excited to watch it next Wednesday on the Carson Daily show!