8/27/10
8/26/10
Lottery Ticket
So I went and saw Lottery Ticket last night. It was a pretty silly movie, but it got me thinking.
What would I do if I had the money? Any money at all really.
First thing I would do is get my best friend out of the ghetto. My best friend has lived her whole life with disease, poverty and living in the roughest of neighborhoods in Chicago. She has gone into debt trying to help her family and to remain in some standing of health. If I ever make any kind of money that is the first thing I will do. My sister asked if she would stay out, like since thats all she knows she’d revert to it. But I don’t care. I just can’t leave her there. I would help her out once, but if she went back it wouldn’t be my fault and she couldn’t complain.
The next thing I would do beside helping my family would make a scholarship to benefit children of people with Bipolar disorder. My father has battled with it his whole life and it has effected my whole family. Part of bipolar disorder is starting projects and quitting halfway through. Throughout my life my dad has spent all of our money on 3 businesses and then gave up. Also it’s very difficult for them to hold a job. Having frequent emotional outbursts is not conducive to many jobs and so we’ve depended on my mom (a real estate agent) to pay any bills. When it came to college of my siblings and I had to find our own way. I don’t really expect much help, but its difficult to do everything on my own. I looked to find scholarships for this specific purpose because it is the main reason we don’t have the money. There are absolutely none for this specific thing. So that’s what I would do next. There is enough trouble in these families without the pressure of paying for school.
For the rest of my life, or the money, I would spend it traveling and finding people who are talented. I have always loved books and art and movies and music. I have always wanted to excel in these things, but I’ve only been mediocre. I want to start a publishing company where I could publish any of these mediums and give a shot to underprivileged artists. I would only allow 3 books or albums to be published through our company for each artist. That way our money isn’t funneling into an already established artist, but rather giving an opportunity to those just starting out. I would love to spend my life meeting writers and musicians who would give anything for their break. But it wouldn’t be about the stardom. I would avoid those artists and seek out the artists who are seeking to connect people, to make a better world.
I know this is all a romantic delusion. Hoping I could make a difference in the world for the people like me, but I would love to do all of this. I’d also buy myself a modest flat in London and one in LA. Nothing big or fancy, just enough to live and base my business out of. Why is it that the people who don’t do anything useful with their money are the ones who get rich? I would help the hearts of so many individuals.
What would I do if I had the money? Any money at all really.
First thing I would do is get my best friend out of the ghetto. My best friend has lived her whole life with disease, poverty and living in the roughest of neighborhoods in Chicago. She has gone into debt trying to help her family and to remain in some standing of health. If I ever make any kind of money that is the first thing I will do. My sister asked if she would stay out, like since thats all she knows she’d revert to it. But I don’t care. I just can’t leave her there. I would help her out once, but if she went back it wouldn’t be my fault and she couldn’t complain.
The next thing I would do beside helping my family would make a scholarship to benefit children of people with Bipolar disorder. My father has battled with it his whole life and it has effected my whole family. Part of bipolar disorder is starting projects and quitting halfway through. Throughout my life my dad has spent all of our money on 3 businesses and then gave up. Also it’s very difficult for them to hold a job. Having frequent emotional outbursts is not conducive to many jobs and so we’ve depended on my mom (a real estate agent) to pay any bills. When it came to college of my siblings and I had to find our own way. I don’t really expect much help, but its difficult to do everything on my own. I looked to find scholarships for this specific purpose because it is the main reason we don’t have the money. There are absolutely none for this specific thing. So that’s what I would do next. There is enough trouble in these families without the pressure of paying for school.
For the rest of my life, or the money, I would spend it traveling and finding people who are talented. I have always loved books and art and movies and music. I have always wanted to excel in these things, but I’ve only been mediocre. I want to start a publishing company where I could publish any of these mediums and give a shot to underprivileged artists. I would only allow 3 books or albums to be published through our company for each artist. That way our money isn’t funneling into an already established artist, but rather giving an opportunity to those just starting out. I would love to spend my life meeting writers and musicians who would give anything for their break. But it wouldn’t be about the stardom. I would avoid those artists and seek out the artists who are seeking to connect people, to make a better world.
I know this is all a romantic delusion. Hoping I could make a difference in the world for the people like me, but I would love to do all of this. I’d also buy myself a modest flat in London and one in LA. Nothing big or fancy, just enough to live and base my business out of. Why is it that the people who don’t do anything useful with their money are the ones who get rich? I would help the hearts of so many individuals.
8/16/10
Alone, Together. (A Dr Who Fanfic I wrote)
I always knew I was different. My mother never would explain it to me but she would always tell me that my father wasn’t from America. She never let me go to the hospital, but then again I never got sick. One time I broke my arm and it was healed in a matter of days. I couldn’t explain it and mother wouldn’t tell me anything, but I knew from that day that I was something different.
When I was 19 my mother finally let me move out and go to college 3 hours away from home in Santa Clarita. I was so excited to be studying English at UCSB that I didn’t realize that my life was changing. Instead of being the typical college student who skated through classes and drank my nights away I spent my time fixing problems people came to me with. It seemed like every day someone new was telling me their life story and what trouble they were in.
One day in my sophomore year, Paul, a boy who lived in the dorm beneath mine came to me one day and told me he was failing English. As an English student I couldn’t quite understand how he was failing a level 100 English class. He begged me to help him pass. I talked to his teacher, I helped him cram and in the end he managed to pass but only because I spent the 52 hours before his test cramming him with every last bit of information.
I left the dorm and headed out to find some food. I walked past a blue box and stopped to squint at it. There was something off about it. I just ignored it and walked away. I grabbed a sandwich at my favorite deli and headed back. As I walked back the box stuck out to me again so I sat down and ate my sandwich on a park bench across from it.
I sat there and ate my dinner staring at a blue police box in the middle of Santa Barbra and no one gave it a second glance. All of a sudden a skinny gangly boy, not much older than me, ran up to it. He was wearing suspenders, a tweed jacket and a bowtie. He looked absolutely ridiculous and yet he opened up the box and ran inside. That was the first person who had touched the box let alone opened it.
“What the?” I said standing up. All of a sudden the man ran out and ran right up to me.
“What are you looking at?” He asked with a British accent and his bangs falling in his eyes.
“Well I’m looking at that blue box you ran into.”
“Why?”
“Because no one else even noticed it, and then you ran right into it.”
“Well…that is pretty odd. What is so different about you?” he said looking into my eyes. It didn’t really seem like he was asking me, but rather looking into me to find out.
“I don’t know. I just noticed the box.”
“Do you want to come in?” he asked tilting his head to one side and running his hands through his hair.
“Uh…sure.” I was a trained black belt so I figured I could handle myself against the weakling man.
“Come on in!” he said opening the door and ushering me in.
When I walked in I noticed immediately that the room was bigger than the outside of the box. In the center was some kind of console with a large glass instrument in the center. There were buttons and gadgets and even a type writer all over the console. I stared up at it and then peered down the hall ways and up the stairs that took off in all directions from the main room.
“I know the inside is bigger than the outside” he said leaning up against the console with the stupidest grin on his face.
“Yeah, but what is it?” I asked. I had acknowledged the size difference and moved on.
“What do you mean? You lot usually get all hung up on the difference!”
“My lot? What do you mean?”
“I mean humans. Well I guess I might as well tell you this is the Tardis, it’s a time and space machine that allows me to travel anywhere I like. Oh and I’m not human” he said scrunching his face as if he were trying to gage my reaction.
“Huh. Well what’s your name?” I asked turning round and round looking at everything.
“I’m the Doctor. And you are?”
“Emily.”
“Why aren’t you freaked out about all this?”
“Should I be?”
The Doctor looked even more confused. “I guess not. Where do you want to go?” he said straightening up and getting that stupid grin on his face again.
“Hmm, the beginning of the human race?”
“Alright!” the Doctor said and started to push various buttons and pulling levers. There was a weird whooshing sound. It slowly got louder and then faded away. “You ready?”
“Sure!” I said and I jumped out the door. There I was standing in the middle of a forest and there stood one man. He looked at me and then walked off farther into the forest.
“Did you see him?” the Doctor asked as he jumped out of the Tardis after her.
“Yeah, is that him?”
“Yep! The first human. Miracle you all made it.”
“It really is. Hmmm interesting. What’s next?” I asked and opened the door to the Tardis again.
“That’s it? You want to keep moving?”
“Sure! What’s next? Where do you want to go?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never met anyone like you.”
“Not most people have.”
“I’ve met a lot of people and yet I can’t seem to grasp onto…I don’t know” the Doctor said opening some metal device. It was as long as a pencil but twice as big around. It had a blue light on it and he kept pointing it at her and then staring at the device.
“What’s that?”
“Sonic screwdriver. What are you?”
“Sonic? Hmmm” I said and grabbed it from his hands. I closely examined it and then shook it a bit. “Hmmm, seems like a simple enough design” I said and tossed it back to him.
“You’re not completely human, are you?”
“I always thought I was human, but I’ve never met my dad. Who knows who he could be.”
“Who is your mother?” the Doctor asked looking concerned.
“Martha Adamson? Do you know her?”
“No. Actually. I don’t. Hmmm…” he said and sat down on the odd seats that looked like they came from my grandfather’s old Cadillac.
I plopped down next to him. “What’s the matter?”
“I don’t rightly know what you are. You’re not human, but you’re not anything I’ve ever seen. Here! Great idea! I know!” he said and grabbed a mirror. He had me look into it and then a paper started to print from the typewriter. He ran over and looked at it. “What the…impossible! Impossible!” He said and looked from me to the paper and back again.
“What is it? What am I?” I asked trying to see the paper.
“It says you are part Timelord. Half human, half Timelord. Impossible” the Doctor said sitting slowly and placing his head in his hands.
“Why is that impossible? What’s a Timelord?” I asked confused by why he was so freaked out. I wasn’t weirded out about being an alien; I had always known I was different.
“I’m a Timelord. The last Timelord.”
“Well I guess not” I said putting my hand on his knee. I tried to look him in the eye but he was staring directly down.
“You don’t understand. I’ve been the last for so long. How? How even?” he said and just stared in her brown eyes.
“I don’t know. I’ve been this way forever. What happened to the rest of our people?” I said with the word our sounding foreign but comforting in my mouth.
“There was a great war. Everyone died. Everyone, you got that? I was the only survivor. I’ve spent the rest of my life alone and you were just hanging out in California?”
“Yeah I guess. I don’t know. It’s not like I was hiding.”
“You’re just so illogical. A human Timelord child” the Doctor said looking me from top to bottom.
“I am not a child!” I said putting my hands on my hips and shaking out my red hair.
“No, no you’re not a child” the Doctor said grinning like a Devil, “but compared to my 907 years I feel quite a bit older.”
“Wow, 907? How old will I live to be?” I asked crossing my legs and beginning to ponder.
“There is no way to know! You’re one of a kind. But you are guaranteed to live more than a natural human that’s for sure.”
“So you’re saying at some point all of my friends will be dead?”
“Welcome to my world” he said and offered me his arms when he saw I was upset.
I grabbed onto him and buried my face into his shoulder. I sobbed into his coat. I didn’t really know why. He just held me as I sobbed. The thought of my friends, my mother, everyone I knew decaying and dying threw me into hysterics.
It took me 5 minutes to compose myself. He just stood there and hugged me. “How old will you live to be?” I managed to whisper.
“I don’t know, but I’m not dying anytime soon.”
“Then at least I’ve got you.”
“And I’ve got you” he said with a weird melancholic tone in his voice.
We stood there for a bit more and then he looked up at me. “You want to see something absolutely beautiful?”
“Sure” I said and he ran to the controls and started to fiddle.
The sound happened again and then he opened the door leading me out onto a grassy hill. “This is the planet of Rexicalian and this is the still lake” he said and pointed to a piece of glass lying among the grass. It reached out as far as I could see and it took me a minute to realize it was water not glass.
“Wow, why is it so still?”
“No one is quite sure, but isn’t it gorgeous?” he asked looking up at me through his eyelashes and bangs.
“Amazing” I said sitting and looking out at the lake. “Doctor, I’m glad you’re not alone anymore.”
“Me too” he said sitting down next to me and turning to face me. He gently placed his hand over mine and leaned in. He kissed me so softly and passionately. He kissed me deep and as if he’d been lost. Lost and I had found him. He kissed me and I kissed him back, because we were alone in the world. Just the two of us.
That’s how the Doctor and I met, that’s how we were no longer alone in the universe.
When I was 19 my mother finally let me move out and go to college 3 hours away from home in Santa Clarita. I was so excited to be studying English at UCSB that I didn’t realize that my life was changing. Instead of being the typical college student who skated through classes and drank my nights away I spent my time fixing problems people came to me with. It seemed like every day someone new was telling me their life story and what trouble they were in.
One day in my sophomore year, Paul, a boy who lived in the dorm beneath mine came to me one day and told me he was failing English. As an English student I couldn’t quite understand how he was failing a level 100 English class. He begged me to help him pass. I talked to his teacher, I helped him cram and in the end he managed to pass but only because I spent the 52 hours before his test cramming him with every last bit of information.
I left the dorm and headed out to find some food. I walked past a blue box and stopped to squint at it. There was something off about it. I just ignored it and walked away. I grabbed a sandwich at my favorite deli and headed back. As I walked back the box stuck out to me again so I sat down and ate my sandwich on a park bench across from it.
I sat there and ate my dinner staring at a blue police box in the middle of Santa Barbra and no one gave it a second glance. All of a sudden a skinny gangly boy, not much older than me, ran up to it. He was wearing suspenders, a tweed jacket and a bowtie. He looked absolutely ridiculous and yet he opened up the box and ran inside. That was the first person who had touched the box let alone opened it.
“What the?” I said standing up. All of a sudden the man ran out and ran right up to me.
“What are you looking at?” He asked with a British accent and his bangs falling in his eyes.
“Well I’m looking at that blue box you ran into.”
“Why?”
“Because no one else even noticed it, and then you ran right into it.”
“Well…that is pretty odd. What is so different about you?” he said looking into my eyes. It didn’t really seem like he was asking me, but rather looking into me to find out.
“I don’t know. I just noticed the box.”
“Do you want to come in?” he asked tilting his head to one side and running his hands through his hair.
“Uh…sure.” I was a trained black belt so I figured I could handle myself against the weakling man.
“Come on in!” he said opening the door and ushering me in.
When I walked in I noticed immediately that the room was bigger than the outside of the box. In the center was some kind of console with a large glass instrument in the center. There were buttons and gadgets and even a type writer all over the console. I stared up at it and then peered down the hall ways and up the stairs that took off in all directions from the main room.
“I know the inside is bigger than the outside” he said leaning up against the console with the stupidest grin on his face.
“Yeah, but what is it?” I asked. I had acknowledged the size difference and moved on.
“What do you mean? You lot usually get all hung up on the difference!”
“My lot? What do you mean?”
“I mean humans. Well I guess I might as well tell you this is the Tardis, it’s a time and space machine that allows me to travel anywhere I like. Oh and I’m not human” he said scrunching his face as if he were trying to gage my reaction.
“Huh. Well what’s your name?” I asked turning round and round looking at everything.
“I’m the Doctor. And you are?”
“Emily.”
“Why aren’t you freaked out about all this?”
“Should I be?”
The Doctor looked even more confused. “I guess not. Where do you want to go?” he said straightening up and getting that stupid grin on his face again.
“Hmm, the beginning of the human race?”
“Alright!” the Doctor said and started to push various buttons and pulling levers. There was a weird whooshing sound. It slowly got louder and then faded away. “You ready?”
“Sure!” I said and I jumped out the door. There I was standing in the middle of a forest and there stood one man. He looked at me and then walked off farther into the forest.
“Did you see him?” the Doctor asked as he jumped out of the Tardis after her.
“Yeah, is that him?”
“Yep! The first human. Miracle you all made it.”
“It really is. Hmmm interesting. What’s next?” I asked and opened the door to the Tardis again.
“That’s it? You want to keep moving?”
“Sure! What’s next? Where do you want to go?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never met anyone like you.”
“Not most people have.”
“I’ve met a lot of people and yet I can’t seem to grasp onto…I don’t know” the Doctor said opening some metal device. It was as long as a pencil but twice as big around. It had a blue light on it and he kept pointing it at her and then staring at the device.
“What’s that?”
“Sonic screwdriver. What are you?”
“Sonic? Hmmm” I said and grabbed it from his hands. I closely examined it and then shook it a bit. “Hmmm, seems like a simple enough design” I said and tossed it back to him.
“You’re not completely human, are you?”
“I always thought I was human, but I’ve never met my dad. Who knows who he could be.”
“Who is your mother?” the Doctor asked looking concerned.
“Martha Adamson? Do you know her?”
“No. Actually. I don’t. Hmmm…” he said and sat down on the odd seats that looked like they came from my grandfather’s old Cadillac.
I plopped down next to him. “What’s the matter?”
“I don’t rightly know what you are. You’re not human, but you’re not anything I’ve ever seen. Here! Great idea! I know!” he said and grabbed a mirror. He had me look into it and then a paper started to print from the typewriter. He ran over and looked at it. “What the…impossible! Impossible!” He said and looked from me to the paper and back again.
“What is it? What am I?” I asked trying to see the paper.
“It says you are part Timelord. Half human, half Timelord. Impossible” the Doctor said sitting slowly and placing his head in his hands.
“Why is that impossible? What’s a Timelord?” I asked confused by why he was so freaked out. I wasn’t weirded out about being an alien; I had always known I was different.
“I’m a Timelord. The last Timelord.”
“Well I guess not” I said putting my hand on his knee. I tried to look him in the eye but he was staring directly down.
“You don’t understand. I’ve been the last for so long. How? How even?” he said and just stared in her brown eyes.
“I don’t know. I’ve been this way forever. What happened to the rest of our people?” I said with the word our sounding foreign but comforting in my mouth.
“There was a great war. Everyone died. Everyone, you got that? I was the only survivor. I’ve spent the rest of my life alone and you were just hanging out in California?”
“Yeah I guess. I don’t know. It’s not like I was hiding.”
“You’re just so illogical. A human Timelord child” the Doctor said looking me from top to bottom.
“I am not a child!” I said putting my hands on my hips and shaking out my red hair.
“No, no you’re not a child” the Doctor said grinning like a Devil, “but compared to my 907 years I feel quite a bit older.”
“Wow, 907? How old will I live to be?” I asked crossing my legs and beginning to ponder.
“There is no way to know! You’re one of a kind. But you are guaranteed to live more than a natural human that’s for sure.”
“So you’re saying at some point all of my friends will be dead?”
“Welcome to my world” he said and offered me his arms when he saw I was upset.
I grabbed onto him and buried my face into his shoulder. I sobbed into his coat. I didn’t really know why. He just held me as I sobbed. The thought of my friends, my mother, everyone I knew decaying and dying threw me into hysterics.
It took me 5 minutes to compose myself. He just stood there and hugged me. “How old will you live to be?” I managed to whisper.
“I don’t know, but I’m not dying anytime soon.”
“Then at least I’ve got you.”
“And I’ve got you” he said with a weird melancholic tone in his voice.
We stood there for a bit more and then he looked up at me. “You want to see something absolutely beautiful?”
“Sure” I said and he ran to the controls and started to fiddle.
The sound happened again and then he opened the door leading me out onto a grassy hill. “This is the planet of Rexicalian and this is the still lake” he said and pointed to a piece of glass lying among the grass. It reached out as far as I could see and it took me a minute to realize it was water not glass.
“Wow, why is it so still?”
“No one is quite sure, but isn’t it gorgeous?” he asked looking up at me through his eyelashes and bangs.
“Amazing” I said sitting and looking out at the lake. “Doctor, I’m glad you’re not alone anymore.”
“Me too” he said sitting down next to me and turning to face me. He gently placed his hand over mine and leaned in. He kissed me so softly and passionately. He kissed me deep and as if he’d been lost. Lost and I had found him. He kissed me and I kissed him back, because we were alone in the world. Just the two of us.
That’s how the Doctor and I met, that’s how we were no longer alone in the universe.
8/15/10
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