Work and such.

The last blog was a bit depressing. Nod if you agree with me. Lets just chalk it up to temporary insanity. A moment where I lost all control of what I was typing for the whole world to see and just let my guts spill out onto the keyboard. Metaphorically of course, because I think if that really happened it my short out my computer. So lets take a step back, remember who we are (I'm Amanda if you don't know whose blog you are reading) and move on with life. Because when it really comes down to it, everybody feels like crap sometimes. Its just usually not a good idea to launch it out to the world and let it dangle there. I meant what I said and it's important that some people hear it, specifically one person, so I'm leaving it up, but if you ever feel like rereading my posts just skip past that one. I at times, quite regularly actually, have the undying urge to spew out the things that are bothering me. I should probably have a therapist for that, but Porsha (My computer) works just as well. So after that long drawn out explanation why you should ignore what I say.....Lets move on.

Now how many have you seen the movie "Holes".....waiting for you to raise your hands.... oh wait I'm on the internet, I can't actually see you. Well if you have NOT seen the movie "Holes" where have you been living and go rent it IMMEDIATELY. It's not a great movie but it has valuable lessons to teach us. One of such is when they say the 1st day is the hardest, but then correct that statement. The second day is the hardest because you worked the day before so hard and now are tired and achy from that and now have to do it all over again. As some of you may, or may not, know I started my job at the Kona Crisp this week.Tuesday was my first day. Randy, the owner, and I go way back...to 2006 when I worked at Togo's. He trained me for 10 minutes said "Any questions?" and was out of the faster than a weasel down a hole! (you would understand that metaphor if you knew Randy. He calls all employees weasels) So there I was with the cashier, who wasn't very talkative, Krill (the night manager) in the back trying to ignore me (he's never really liked me) and the other 2 guys just working on the food. I am an expediter! HEAR ME ROOOOOOOAAAAARRRR. I take peoples food out to them, bus tables and try and keep things clean. Due to my paranoia and fear of rejection I was chewing on my lip like I was starving(it's my coping mechanism). I was so scared I was going to mess EVERYTHING up and people were going to be mean and eat me alive. That did not happen though. I survived. That night as I rolled around in my bed TRYING to sleep I just got this knot in my stomach and couldn't sleep because of all these horrible waking nightmares I was having about work. What if I messed up? What if someone yelled at me? I know those things are bound to happen and I know in some cases I can't help it, but thats what I worry about at night. When I lay down to sleep all my worries pop up. When I am up and awake I put those worries out of my mind. When I'm just sitting or standing it is so easy to push worries out of my mind, but the second I lay down and try to sleep they pop up like zombies rising from the grave. So there I was all worried about things I couldn't change. Things that I didn't need to worry about till Thursday! And yet I still worried. So I worried and worried and finally sleep came. Then Wednesday I spent the day at the beach with my sister and mom, but as I laid down my head to sleep I worried. Thursday I spent with one of my best friends Shayla. We went off roading had lunch and visited the high school to see the drum line. Then it was time to head off to work. It was suprisingly fun. I made new friends and such. I was tired from the days before, but it was much more fun that I remembered. So though the second day may seem harder if you wait a day in between it's really not that bad. Well gotta start getting ready for work again tonight.