Don't read this post if you're happy.

I need someone to hold on. Its all good and well to have friends in Chicago and Idaho and Utah and even a town just 45 minutes away or even my work friends across town or people that live a 10 minute car ride away, but without a car and without a sister to hang out with I am alone again. yes yes Mom and Dad. But thats it. I fear that when Emily leaves I will go to work, come home. Go to church, come home. Go to work again, come home. Thats it. My life will turn into the monotanous droan it was last fall. A hollow shell of what I once had. I'm the kind of person who needs soemone to lean on. I've tried standing on my own before, and I have lived through it, but I far from enjoy it. To tell you the truth I hate it. And it's no ones fault. I expect no sympathy, but if I seem despondant and empty....that would be because thats how I feel. And I highly doubt that feeling will disappear before I go back to school. At school I have a life, even if the people I love most aren't there I can walk everywhere I can spend time with people, at home I'm lost again. So yeah, sorry I'm such a downer, but thats just how it is. Just telling you how it is. And to tell you the truth it hurts like hell.