The Great Me

So I got home from work. Its been a long day. I worked at Beverlys from 9-4 and then Kona 5-730. So I've had longer days, but I just tired. I deposited some checks, finished my christmas shopping and sang along pretty poorly to the Black Eyed Peas. Yeah, I know. I should really be asleep, I have work at 10 tomorrow, but I can't stop watching Syfy's Alice. AH! I find the Hatter so attractive. He is the mussy, greasy, eyeliner, snappy dressed man I've been looking for. I am not a straight laced, prissy, beautiful girl. I am real. I am a go with the flow, fly by the seat of your pants, hair slicked back in a pony tail, sweater wearing chicka. I will not apologize for burps or sniffles. I am content with myself. So thats what I want in a man. Someone who really doesn't care what others think, but finds beauty in himself because he just is that way. I find myself beautiful in a broken and patchworked way because of who I am. I don't conform to anyones ideas. I was actually just thinking on my way out the door for work that I have never really wanted to be a part of main stream society. I have always wanted to be my own being. Even as a child I knew that and didn't mind being myself. I have never looked at a piece of clothing and had my mind wonder if people would like me if I wore it. For me it is about wearing what I find interesting and cool. That is why I kind of have a taste that runs a year ahead of the gamit. I think that would be helpful if I actually cared, but what does matter to me is music. For the last few years I have been one step ahead of the music scene. I don't really mind and I don't really use it to my advantage, but I have always loved finding music no one has heard of. I don't know why I am writing about all of this, but I feel like I have to. I feel like if I get it down in words it will make it true. It will make it apparent to the world that I am not going to ever surrender to them. That is my one pet peeve, people who give in to peer pressure and expect me to, people who are fake. I love myself and I am not willing to allow anyone to change me so they can feel better about themselves. I am a geek, a reader, a lover, a singer, a talker, a friend, a mormon, a food lover, a television addict, a diet coke drinker, a brown eyed brunette, a texter, a craft store bbq worker, a me. I love myself just the way I am. Sorry if that makes you a little angry. I am who I am and poo on you conformists!