I wrote this just 2 days before. Lovely ain't it?

Just decide. Are you or aren't you going to be friends this semester? I just need to know now. I'm sick of your flip flopping. Save the "you love me you'll never leave me because so many people left you speech". You know I'm about as secure as a shattering glass. You knowIi'm messed up to my core. And if you don't, you really have no idea who I am. And I do want to be your friend. I do. Its just that when someone hurts me I cut off the affected part and face it with anger. You know that. You've seen it. You need to realize how much i need you. How little you acknowledge me and how poorly you treat me. Sure I get it. You've got a job to fulfill. That doesn't make it okay to leave me hanging on. Tell me I'll see you once a week. I can handle that and I'll find something to tide me over. Tell me you just don't have time. Okay I'll make it on my own. I can and I have. I just am sick of this dangling thing you do. Its complete bullshit. You're turning into Him who treated people like the shit he thought they were. I know he like you and so he treated you kindly, but you don't realize the wake o broken people he left behind. I don't care if thats who you're becoming just have the courage to say it to my face. You just don't want to be friends anymore. Got it. I'll be fine. I swear I will. I don't let people hurt me anymore. All you see is the sot playful Amanda. I've got a heart surrounded by steel. I'm just done with this bullshit. You told me I'd never lose you just a few weeks ago....And now I'm losing you. Guess I was right all along. Never should've trusted you. Never should've listened to you as you lied. Never should've even cared at all.