I keep hoping I'll wake up and this was all a dream.

Every single text I hope is you saying you're just kidding. I hope every single facebook message is you.

But they're not. It's not. You're absolutely gone. You can't even face me right now. You're a coward because you know you lied to me. You miss the people I told you you were replacing me with, that you denied. You said no one could ever replace me. Well I guess you were wrong.

My heart is in so much pain. I let down my wall and this is what you pull. You have absolutely no idea how hard it is for me to trust people and I trusted you.

I feel like a fool! My whole family knows what you meant to me. They know what it meant for me to be honest with you. They thought we were coming to visit in February. I had to tell them today that you had decided to move on. I had to tell them that the one person in the whole world I had trusted was now too cool for me.

I hope you see me one of these days. I hope you see me and think man she is cool. When you gather the courage to ask me to hang out someday I don't know how I'll respond. I hope I'll do the good thing. That I'll say yes and we'll go out, smile politely and have fun. But I don't know. I sway from being so pissed off I can't breath to sobbing. And when people are around my heart is empty and I am numb. I hope you're happy. Thats all I want for you. I hope you're happy. Even when I want to scream and punch a wall I hope you're happy.

Someday I'll be happy too.