Social Board Pictures from Mystery Dinner

Ok so as you know, if you read below, that we had mystery dinner and my group of friends and I were in charge of it. So these are kind of the behind the scenes shots. During set up we decided Merilee definitly needed to be wrapped to look like a bride, and David, dressed in a suit, showed up at the right time to appear as groom and train bearer.

I call this one RAR Wedding

And this one is Russian Bride, note that hat.

And here is just David looking contemplative.

And the Fabulous trio...

David looking like the master of ALL creeps

More of us. David likes to give the camera sass

I call this grrrrrrrrrrr

And here is the shot that came before grrrr that had NONE of us even looking at the camera or looking relativly attractive.

I was handcuffed to the evidence box the whole time.

After our group pictures David decided he was going to walk through the frame one step at a time.....

Going.....

Going......

GONE!

I need a smile today.

Does anyone have one for me? Anything to make me smile.

Mystery Dinner

Last night was mystery dinner and I had an absolute blast. I loved our group! We were in charge of it and so setting up was super fun and it looked beautiful!

This was our backdrop for photographs, all done by the lovely Merilee

This is what our tables looked like close up. Each one was a little different because we had different centerpieces. Beautiful.

Then we went to dinner at Applebee's. Merilee and I at dinner.

Then Merilee David and I went out to the park to drink Martinelli's. It was basically like this, but with a lot more laughter and a few more cracks of the head on the table.

This picture kind of just sums up the evening. I had so much fun!

I miss home

I miss home. Not the place my parents lived, not even the house I grew up in. I miss feeling like I belong. I miss the friends who got me through high school. I miss the nights I was fine staying at home. I miss all day vacations with my friends to marching band comps. I miss not worrying about cliques. I miss feeling safe. I miss feeling like I belong. I miss feeling loved completely, not just parts of me, not just for the parts I let people see. I miss the people who knew everything that I had been through and loved me all the same. I miss the people who didn't know what I had been through but knew I was broken all the same. I am sick of people treating me like I should bounce back. I can' bounce back. Not from this. Not from you. I can't deal with this stuff right now. I can't deal with the 14 year old drama that you're giving me because I have been dealing with things above your head. I can't deal with you mourning that boy because I handled that on my own 4 months ago and you paid me no mind. I don't really care how sad you are. You blow your nose and get over it. Look at me. I just balled my eyes out and no one cared. I am going to write this blog and then finish the 80 pages I have to read before tomorrow. So I'm sorry you're sad, but life is not going to stop for you. Life isn't stopping for me to mourn missing my home. I still have to get up at 6 tomorrow. I still have to go to school and do my laundry and do homework. It's really not going to get any easier. I know you judge me for all the daydreaming and whatifing I do. I know it. I don't care anymore. If you knew what I have been trying to work through you would realize its either be hopeful and try or kill myself. I'm to strong to go out that way. So stop whispering about me. Stop judging me. Stop it. I'm just done. I am going to talk to the friends I lost in high school. I am going to reminisce about the good old days. I am going to wonder what would've happened if I stayed in that town. All I know is that I don't need you right now. I'm going to dry my tears and get back to homework. Screw this.

The Bell Tolls for Thee

I don't think I've been grateful enough lately. I am feeling the pressure that a senior college student who is involved in 2 societies feels, but I am blessed beyond all belief. Today in Hemingway we discussed enjoying the now as Hemingway shows us in For Whom The Bell Tolls. As he says "I suppose it is possible to live as full a life in seventy hours as in seventy years; granted that your life has been full up to the time that the seventy hours start and that you have reached a certain age...So if your life trades its seventy years for seventy hours I have that value now and I am lucky enough to know it. And if there is not any such thing as a long time, nor the rest of your lives, nor from now on, but there is only now, why then now is the thing to praise and I am very happy with it" (182). How are you living in the now? What would you do if you had 70 hours to live? Would you be doing what you are now? Would I be sitting in the Crossroads eating lunch and procrastinating astronomy homework? Would I be at this school? Would I be in this town? So our teacher had us create 2 bucket lists. 1 that is just what we want to do before we die, and 1 that is what we would do if we had 70 hours to live. Here are mine:
Life: 1. Perform one of my songs in front of more than 250 people.
2. Go viral on youtube.
3. Get published.
4. Get in a bar brawl.
5. Visit every LDS temple in the continental US
6. Steal something.
7. PLan the perfect murder.
8. Kick a guy in the balls.
9. Open a bakery.
10. Tour with/in a band.
11. Use an alias for a day.
12. Read all of the "classics"
13. Have someone tell me I inspired them.
14. Own a neapolitan mastiff named Brutus
(those were just the ones I thought of in class)
70 Hours:1. Tell my father I forgive him.
2. Makeout with my crush.
3. Tell "her" off/give her some advice
4. Pray
5. Bear my testimony to the people I know who need it.
6. Pass on my journals.
7. Give my honest opinion to everyone.
8. Compliment everyone I see and do it honestly.
9. Give my possessions away.
10. Record a testimonial of my life and put it on youtube.
11. Write a letter to those I care about.
12. Visit Brother Grant.
13. Stay in Rexburg.
14. Go to Porter Park.
15. Sit under the trees I've marked my life by.
16. Smell the ocean.
17. Spend every last cent I have on things my mother wants but will not buy for herself.

So I am going to continue keeping these lists. I hope you love the life you're leading now.

Fiction with a ring on it.

As some of you may remember, I have my wedding dress picked out. And you also all know I go to "BYU-I Do". A common thing to do when you're bored up here is to plan your wedding. Last night while watching bridewars I just decided I might as well find pictures of what I want. So here it all is, planned out. Perfect. Now I just need a groom....hmmmm do you really need one of those?

The black of this over cream table cloths

These shoes, but in ivory

The setting. I love oak trees.

Bridesmaid dresses! SOOO gorgeous. It's from 1954.....we'll have to make them and add a black beaded cardie. I want one too.

Amanda's LIfetime Movie Part III

As Amanda helped abate the line of angry old women she couldn't get her mind off Marcus. He was funny and soooo cute and really nice. If things went right with everything maybe she could drive up to Idaho with him. Is there anything better than a road trip with a cute boy?
Work at the Bead Barn normally passed slowly, but that day the clock was running at a glacial pace. Finally 4 rolled around and Amanda was pacing her 2 foot by 2 foot square waiting for Ally to come release her.
"Allyson please come to the register. Allyson please come to the register" Amanda said into the intercom 5 minutes later when she couldn't take another minute of the monotany.
Finally 5 more minutes later Ally managed to find the register.
"What's the rush?"
"Might have a date with a cute customer tonight?"
"Meh, men will only break your heart-- " and before Ally could go off into her schpiel about her divorce Amanda snuck to the back to clock out.
She punched in her number and clocked out and grabbed her back pack, throwing her apron on her hook at the same time. She pulled her phone out of her pocket.
1 missed call, 2 text messages.
Amanda quickly saved Marcus' number and then opened the text messages.
Text #1
Marcus: Hey so any chance we could hang out tonight? My family is driving me nuts.
Text #2
Melissa: I need a girls night! STAT!
Amanda was obligated, by the sacred bonds of best friendship, to respond to Melissa first. Who would she be if she put testies before besties?
"Hey, for sure. Quick question, any chance I could bring this new kid Marcus I met today?" she typed, thumbs aflying and sent.
10 seconds later a buzz. She didn't want to text Marcus back until she was sure Melissa was okay with it. Amanda flipped open her phone with fingers crossed.
Melissa: Yeah, totally kosher. Diner?
Amand typed back "yes, 8. Gotta get ready!" and sent it.
She pulled up Marcus' text next and typed "Hey! Yeah totally. My friend Melissa and I are meeting at the 24 hour diner on 5th around 8. Do you know where that is?" She took a deep breath and sent it.
She ran out of the back room of the Bead Barn avoiding all the other employees who would try and keep her there. She popped into her 1970's station wagon that she absolutely adored and called "the Death Star" and headed home. It was only a 5 minute drive, but she had to have good tunes. So she turned up "" by Matt and Kim and rolled down the windows. It was winter in California, only a few short days till Christmas, and yet the weather was perfect.